top of page

Did you choose your job from unprocessed family trauma? Most people do.

Updated: Dec 20, 2023


You may think you choose your profession by choice. In reality, with exceptions here and there, it is not so. The work you do can be traced back to old hurts from your family line. Either you are trying to right wrongs or mask old trauma.

How my family trauma shaped my career?

As a 17-year-old, I chose to study psychology. No idea why. Because I had to choose something. Completely random I thought at the time. I might as well have poked around the study guide with my eyes closed.

Now I know that an immature and unhealthy psyche as a result of acquired fear and loss in the war with my ancestors was the trigger of my choice of study. Later I went to study Communication Sciences. Because that was exactly what was missing in my life: communication. As a child I dreamed of living in Hillywood (the Dutch name for Hilversum) and being allowed to join the famous Dutch children choir Kinderen voor Kinderen. So I always wanted to work in the media, as it turned out, to be seen, to become visible. Ironically - coincidence does not exist in my dictionary - three decades later, as Head of Marketing for the TV station, I was put in charge of the Kinderen voor Kinderen brand. What a treat that was! In contrast, I encountered a lot of ego, abuse of power and male energy in the media world. It was easy for me, because I was familiar with that. So somewhere that felt safe, that media world. Now I am a Money Psychologist because money is the theme and guiding principle in my family history. Rich versus poor. Poverty versus great wealth.

Besides the lung doctor who smokes and the money coach without money, there are less obvious examples on the face of it:

- The lawyer, mediator and the notary (people in legal professions) hold justice in high regard because they know injustice from their family lineage

- The helper has often not known help themselves, or his/her parents. By being a helper they avoid their own pain but have to deal with it daily

- The pediatrician who lost his sister to illness at a young age

- The DJ who does not want to hear with headphones on

- The entertainer who wants to bring joy to mask own pain

- The Germany expert who continues the atonement of ancestors

- The mental health professional who has family members who have not been helped by the system

- The financial professional who knows scarcity from home or generations past

- The dietitian with eating diseases and/or famine winter in the family

- The clothing, styling or make up - artist who takes care of the outside of clients to disguise the inside

By the way, I have absolutely no value judgment about your profession. On the contrary.

The most valuable and meaningful work comes from trauma. And trauma is something we all know. But it's good to dwell on it. To be aware of who you are, what your triggers and drivers are and what the meaning is of your work in this world.

Hanneke van Onna | Geldpsycholoog

Ask yourself these questions:

- Why do you do the work you do?

- How does it keep you away from your own trauma?

- What family trauma are you trying to resolve?

- What or who are you trying to make visible from generations before you?

Food for thought 🤔

Somehow you will always remain loyal to your (for) parents whether you want to or not.

Need more insight?

December 13 - last of 2023 - 2 spots left

January 31 - first of 2024

Or book an insight call by emailing

Hanneke is a Money Coach and Wealth Psychologist who specializes in discovering and resolving emotional and mental obstacles that keep you from living an abundant, successful life.

She has been rewarded as an international Top 20 Money Coach 2023 by, money expert for LINDA. and has written several books (The Money Issue 2020, Money Secret 2022 & Money Journal 2023) through Kluitman Publishing.

Hanneke lived on the poverty line with her children for a while and made the switch to financial independence and freedom. Now she passes on her "precious" life lessons through coaching, consulting & courses.

Her live Money Constellation Days have given many the opportunity to break through invisible, unconscious money blockages.

With her company Opulence she guides high net worth individuals and families to relief of emotional and mental ballast around money.

She lives and works in Amsterdam and as a single mother of three.

5 views0 comments


bottom of page